Comedy Screen play
Another repost… from some thing I wrote when I was 15
Dave: Hi there! *approaches her table*
Louise: Hi there, yourself…
Dave: Have you got the time? *looks her up and down*
Louise: Sure, it is nowww… *looks at her watch*
Dave: Good then, I’ll buy you a drink. *sits down*
Louise: That was a cheap pick up line *frown*
Dave: I’m a cheap person… *looks into her eyes*
Louise: Gee, I guess that makes you special? *holds his gaze*
Dave: Well, that’s what my doctor told my mom
Louise: How’s that possible? *frown*
Dave: Well, he said to my mom, (*acute accent*)‘Lady, I’ve been in this business for
twenty years… never before has a baby I dropped, bounced back into my bloody
hands!’ *grin*
Louise: Heh… is that so? *half smiles*
Dave: Sad to say, yes. But hey, you should have seen the model agencies that wanted to
sign me up…*exaggerated sigh* but my mom turn them all down
Louise: And why is that, pray tell? *looks curious*
Dave: I think she had against about me front-paging national geographics… so they got
an ape to do it instead. I could have been a star. *wistful pout*
Louise: You’re not that bad looking *smile*
Dave: You mean I’m not hideous; just plain ugly?
Louise: Well, I wouldn’t go as far as to…
Dave: Its ok, you can say it I’ve tried convincing gals not go just date me for my
money…*sad smile*
Louise: So you get a lot of dates after your cash?
Dave: No, I don’t.. like I said I’ve tried convincing them… but they don’t seem to
want to date me anyway *pout*
Louise: Hehe… maybe its your cigarette breath.. *rolls her eyes up mock innocently,
smiling*
Dave: No way… I only smoke menthols… I’m not addicted… I’m not hooked on the
stuff… I swear… *exaggerated stammering* Its j-jj-jus that it makes me fuh-fuh
f-feel safe… *looks around himself paranoidly* and my head aches less…I only
smoke when I need to… *Lights ups two cigarettes at a time*
Louise: Hehehe… yea rite! Well menthols are supposed to be bad for your ‘performance’
Dave: That’s not what they tell me at the circus… I’m told that it’s not the way I tell my
jokes. They say I’m so good that every time they look at my face, they crack up,
I mean they’re so sweet… I think *worried look*
Louise: Well, you do have killer looks for a clown *smile*
Dave: Well, my dad almost died when he saw me… Something about me looking like
my mom’s ex-boyfriend… never could figure out what all the fuss was about…
Uncle Albert used to visit all the time when daddy was out of town… *eyes
innocently open wide*
Louise: You’re being silly…
Dave: I’m not being silly… I’m dead serious…Uncle Albert even used to give me lots
of money to go buy some chocolates in the shops near by. He was such a nice
guy wish he was my dad Come to think of it, the milkman was pretty cool too!
*frown*
Louise: *laughs* So how old are you?
Dave: Me? I’m 20
Louise: Ahh huhh… so, not a teen anymore…
Dave: Hey, I’m not old, I’m a recycled teenager *defensively*
Louise: Do you work? *smile*
Dave: Only when I can’t help it. Well actually, when my wallet can’t help me and my
credit cards freeze! *lifts his hands in resignation*
Louise: So, you don’t stay with your parents?
Dave: Nope, I stay with the animals I call my house mates *smile*
Louise: But do you visit your parents often?
Dave: Only when I get caught. Normally, I do a pretty good answering machine
impression ‘the number you have dialed is not..’.
Louise: That’s mean! *hits him in the arm*
Dave: I prefer to call it survival instinct, you’ve obviously not seen my dad on a
rampage after a few beers *sad smile*
Louise: I’m sorry. Does he get violent? *looks concerned*
Dave: I’ll say! He practically turns the place upside down looking for his whisky
bottle… And my mom refuses to clean up the mess. Which leaves…
Louise: You?
Dave: Well, if I’m still sober after that bottle of whisky!
Louise: So you drink a lot huh? *frown*
Dave: God no! I’m a Christian for goodness sakes… *deep frown*
Louise: *blank look*
Dave: Only on Sundays; after church *whispers looking coyly away*
Louise: So you believe in God?
Dave: Well, someone’s got to take all the blame!
Louise: Hehehe. Call yourself a Christian… *leans slightly forward*
Dave: Well, I’ve been called worse things *smile*
Louise: I hear Roman Catholics don’t use condoms… *bites her lower lip*
Dave: Good grief! Of course I practice safe sex!
Louise: Oh, reallyyyyy?
Dave: Yea… I make sure her boyfriends not some 7 footer monster rugby player with a
black belt or something before I do anything! *wink*
Louise: Hehehe… So u sleep around a lot huh?
Dave: Only when I can’t afford my rent… Hey do you dance or are those legs for
display purposes? *looks at the dance floor*
Louise: Only when cute guys ask me…
Dave: *pretends to look around* Damn, don’t see any Mickey Mouse lookalikes
around. I guess I’ll have to do, huh? *takes her hand*
Louise: We all have to compromise some times I guess… *smiles*
*exit to the dance floor*
